Goodbye My Lover
by wonderwaller
Summary: Troypay angst times a million. Oneshot songfic. Hope you like it.


Disclaimer: It's not mine and the song is Goodbye my Lover by James Blunt. I wrote it in about 15 minutes at 3AM so please no flames. I just felt like trying something new. Its angst and sad and made me cry as I wrote it.

_Did I disappoint you or let you down?  
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?_

"How could you do this Troy?"

"I didn't baby I swear to God I didn't"

"I saw you, I saw you Troy!" you scream as you lunge towards me with your tiny fists.

"You saw what you think you saw, look at me" I say calmly, "Look at me Sharpay; I would never ever do that. Ever. You need to let me explain."

"I just need some time." You whisper as you walk out the door.

_  
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,  
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.  
So I took what's mine by eternal right.  
Took your soul out into the night._

I haven't seen you since. I call your phone every 30 minutes; I walk around to all your favorite spots. Everyone is here, your whole family is here all your friends…they look at me with such pity.

"Why don't you fucking help and look for her?" I scream to the crowd of people in our living room. "She left, my fiancée is out there on her own and all you people do is fucking stand there."

I find my way to the liquor cabinet and drink until the pain goes away. They tell me that you aren't coming back, but I don't believe them. I love you Sharpay Evans, sure we had a fight, but I know you will come back….I know we're not over.

_  
It may be over but it won't stop there,  
I am here for you if you'd only care._

It's been a month and you still aren't home, I do another shot even though I'm already shit faced just for good measure. I'm no longer sad, not today at least….today I am pissed.

"GOD SHARPAY I LOVE YOU I'M SORRY I MISS YOU COME HOME" I scream in our front lawn. Your brother comes over and cleans me up and tells me you aren't coming home.

"She's just pissed Ry, she thought I was cheating on her…she didn't let me explain."

"I know buddy, why don't you get some sleep."

"Everyone looks at me like I'm crazy, but I know she'll come back to me."

_  
You touched my heart you touched my soul.  
You changed my life and all my goals._

You are easily without a shadow of a doubt the best thing that has ever happened to me Sharpay Evans. You challenged me to be the best me I could be, you inspired me to discover my passions beyond basketball, and you motivated me. With you I am unstoppable, which is why I need you to come home so badly. I am hardly me without you. Alone I'm a shell of the man you made me, the man you loved, the man who loves you.

_  
And love is blind and that I knew when,  
My heart was blinded by you._

It didn't matter to me that you were the Drama Queen and I was the leader of the Jocks, all that mattered was you. I saw past your Ice Queen façade, which no one else even dared to do. You are the first and only girl, _woman_, that I have ever loved or will love. I'm losing track of how long you've been gone…I refuse to leave the house, I know you will come home. The only trips out are to the liquor store so I can buy the only thing that relieves this pain.

_  
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.  
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.  
I know you well, I know your smell.  
I've been addicted to you.  
_

You were my first kiss, my first girl friend, my first love, my first time, my first everything. I lay in our bed in the sheets I haven't changed since the last time you slept in them. I spray your perfume all over me each morning, anything to remind me of you. No one else likes to talk about you anymore Sharpay and I don't know why. Every time I mention how you'll be home soon they just shake their heads and look down. Don't worry about them baby, I still have faith in you.__

Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me.  


It's been 2 years since that night you stormed out, since the night you left me; and I am still here, waiting. You said you needed time, and I'm giving it to you Sharpay. It is exactly two years to the date, I miss you so much. If you only would have let me explain, baby, that woman she was a wedding planner. I was planning our wedding, planning our future.

"I need to tell Sharpay, that she was just the wedding planner Ryan, I know you talk to her…I heard you talking with everyone about visiting her today. You need to tell her for me Ryan I need her."

"I know you do buddy" He replies as he attempts to hug me.

"No no, you don't know…you don't know this pain that is eating me inside. It's been two years Ryan, two fucking years since I've seen the woman I love. She said she needed time Ryan, and I'm trying, I'm trying my hardest to give it to her. But how long? I can't I can't do this anymore…it hurts so bad, please Ryan please I'm begging you tell her to come home. Tell her to come back to me" I sob as I hold on to Ryan for dear life.

_  
I am a dreamer and when i wake,  
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.  
And as you move on, remember me,  
Remember us and all we used to be_

"Troy we've been over this, don't make me explain it again, not today Troy…dammit you are not the only one who loves her" Ryan yells at me with tears running down his face.

"We've been over what, Ryan? How she's not coming back because she doesn't love me anymore? Fuck that you're wrong; she will be back because she does love me. She promised Ryan. She fucking promised she would love me until forever!" I slur through my tears.

"Go drink another bottle, Troy; I can't deal with this…not today." With that Ryan runs from our house. I find another bottle of vodka as I pray he passes my message along.

_  
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.  
I've watched you sleeping for a while.  
I'd be the father of your child.  
I'd spend a lifetime with you._

I stumble into our room and knock over my favorite picture of you; it shatters into a million pieces.

"Oh no, oh God no…look what I did", I cry as I try to put you back together. The glass cuts my fingers but I'm too drunk to realize it, I'm too drunk for anything anymore.

"Why did you have to leave me baby, look at me? Look what I've become? Whatever happened to our white picket fence and our family? Huh Sharpay? What ever happened to us having four boys who would play basketball for their Daddy and look out for their Mommy? You left that's what fucking happened. Why didn't you listen, why won't you come home" I fall into hysteria crying and screaming so loud that I don't hear the door open or Ryan and Gabriella rushing to my side.

_  
I know your fears and you know mine.  
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,  
And I love you, I swear that's true.  
I cannot live without you._

"God there's blood everywhere, Ryan, go get some cold clothes."

"Where is she Gabbi please tell me no one will tell me".

You look at me with such pity, "We've told you Troy, but you don't listen."

"I'll listen this time Gabbi I swear, I promise I will listen please just tell me where she is, I can't live without her."

You open your mouth to answer me, but Ryan's voice comes instead.

"Sharpay's dead Troy, she's been dead for the past 5 years. That night you two had a fight, remember she stormed out? She went out for a drive and was killed by a drunk driver."

"Liar." I scream.

"God I don't even know why we bother anymore."

I find another bottle and drink until it goes black.

_  
Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me.  
_

You're stunning, glowing in fact.

"I waited for you baby, I knew…I knew you would come back. I didn't listen to them, not a single one of them, not even for a second."

"Oh Troy, what have you done to yourself?"

"Baby I did the best I could do without you, aren't you happy to see me? I've been dying to see you."

"That's right Troy, you have been dying…and you need to stop."

_  
And I still hold your hand in mine.  
In mine when I'm asleep.  
And I will bare my soul in time,  
When I'm kneeling at your feet.  
Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me._

"What are you talking about baby?" I whisper as I walk slowly towards you.

"It's my turn to wait for you Troy, but if you keep going down this road it won't happen."

"What won't happen I don't understand, I'm just so happy you are home."

"Baby, I'm not coming home. I'm dead, I'm your angel now.."

"I know you're my angel beautiful, you've always been my angel."

"Troy, you need to stop drinking so you can join me up here when it's your time. It hurts me so badly to watch you down there."

"What do you mean down there?"

"Stop being so stubborn baby, please just listen."

"Fine, if I stop drinking will you come home?"

"No, but you will…and I will be waiting for you, love. But you need to stop." You whisper through tears, "Please baby stop so we can be together again. Promise me you will."

"I promise Sharpay, anything for you."

"I have to go for now, but if all goes as planned I will see you soon. Just remember, stop drinking. Do it for me, I love you so much baby, I'm so sorry you've had to deal with all of this, but I promise baby I swear that soon we'll be back together."

"Don't go baby, please, not yet…it's too soon. Don't leave me again." I scream to your fading image.

"Remember your promise, until then my love."

_  
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow._

You've been gone 6 years I've been sober 1.

_  
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow._

You've been gone 7 and I've been sober 2.

_  
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow._

I miss you so much, it's been 7 years to the date and I am on my way to visit you again. I glance at your picture on my dashboard for a second only to be interrupted by screeching tires and a blinding light.

I open my eyes slowing, only to shut them because of the bright light.

"Ughh" I moan as the light burns my eyes.

"Shh baby, it will take a little to get used to, try again", my angel says.

"Sharpay?"

"I told you I would see you soon."

"Oh I've missed you so much you have no idea." I cry as I pull you into my arms.

"I know baby, I know, but its ok now, we're together again. I'm back, and I'm never leaving you again." You soothe me as I cry into your shoulder.

"I knew you would come back to me, I never lost faith. I wasn't cheating baby I swear, she was the wedding planner, I was planning our wedding so we could spend forever together."

"I know that now, but guess what?"

"What?" I question finally getting my first good look at you.

"We've got each other and forever."

"You're perfect. I love you Sharpay Evans."

"And I love you Troy Bolton."

We couldn't be together in life, so we are forever in eternity as we dance on the clouds.


End file.
